A Cautionary Tale

I have always believed that honesty is the best policy but now I no longer know if it will be enough. Its bad enough that I need to assume the additional burden of health risks without coping advice from my doctor but, now, I am being asked to assume the risks associated with advance payment of $5,000 US to people that who don’t accept credit cards or paypal or any method with consumer protection – despite my willingness to pay all additional fees.

The bottom line is that after I was accepted to participate in their 5-MEO DMT retreat until I challenged their corporate policy. It felt too one-sided on their part. I had to assume all the risks and then didn’t assume any responsibility. Maybe it was a test that I failed but my life has been tested enough my scams and dishonest people that maybe it shows that I need what they offer in order to get back the virtue of trust that I once let slip through my fingers.

Then, apparently, I had the ‘wrong attitude’ to participate and was rejected.  

Here is some of the correspondence:  Hi Peter, We don’t have any other form of payment besides wire transfer, unfortunately. We’re a small organization & that is the payment option we have. We can discuss more tomorrow.  In the meantime, if you could, I ask you try to meditate on this retreat & feel into if this experience feels connected with your path. We can go through an intuitive exercise tomorrow to see if this experience is the right one based on where you’re at right now. Think that will help clarify things.Talk soon, YYYY

The above note got under my skin. How is this my problem? I didn’t want to come across as angry or self-righteous but I clearly wanted to put the ball back into their court, so I replied the following respectfully. Hi YYYY, My problem with a wire transfer is that it provides zero consumer protection for me. What means of payment do you accept that also provides me with buyer protection? Peter

Then I awaited their reply in the hope that they were somewhat reflexible. Here is their reply. Hi Peter, Yes, let’s chat Thursday at 1pm.We unfortunately don’t accept PayPal, they’re not sympathetic to medicine work unfortunately. Our only viable payment option is via wire at this point. Talk soon! YYYY

The fact that paypal was not ‘sympathetic to medicine work’ suggested to me that they were concerned with surcharges, not prohibition. In my experience PayPal does not discriminate.

Hi YYYY, My path is clear to me. We discussed this at length and I still want to proceed with your retreat but, first, it is important to me to feel safe and not vulnerable at every stage of our relationship. Right now, I do not. In many ways, my ‘issue’ is simply the request to applying common sense in a sadly predatory online world.

This reality was brought home to me through a specific online incident in which I used a bank transfer and lost $2000 US was personally traumatizing. I felt a sense of invasion in that my trust and open, positive spirit were given a body blow. I felt gullible but also violated in that I lost a part of myself. It didn’t help that I was told by NY police that using an international wire transfer to someone or some company that I didn’t know, is what online criminals do. In fact, they count on people’s naivety. In such he said/she said circumstances the local and national police have no recourse and nor did I. 

You need to see things from my perspective, as well. At this point I have nothing concrete, no company details, no personal contact information. You have not yet provided me with your full name, despite my request from yesterday. All I am asking for is buyer protection to counter the fact that you want 100% payment in advance. 

I knew that this would clarify the issue but I was unsure if it would land in my favour or cause them to dig in even further.

My first two suggestions for alternative payment methods were unsuitable, yet, perhaps, PayPal might be worth revisiting. I understand that ‘they’re not sympathetic to medicine work’ but if I absorb paypal fees perhaps this method of payment would be acceptable to your organization.If, however, you truly have no flexibility in your method of payment then what can you provide that will give me consumer protection? My suggestion would be for you to provide me with a copy of your passport and driver’s license.  Talk soon,Peter

I was told that I was no longer welcome at the retreat because I wasn’t ready. I will need to reflect on this. I can admit that I have trust issues. I was prepared to meet them part way but to expect 100% advance payment 30 days before the event and to not provide any consumer protection felt not only disingenuous but also alarmingly out of touch with the real world.

It still seems odd to me that paypal was ‘not sympathetic to medicine work’ and that my offer to pay any additional fees didn’t alter their position on this matter.  It also didn’t feel right that this organization that operates international retreats could not accept credit cards or provide corporate information and that my main contact twice choose not to tell me his name. 

Nonetheless, I felt relieved not to continue along this path as I know that I would not be able to let go enough to blindly trust others without also knowing that it was a two way street, that my trust was earned.